The confessions of a clueless mind

The life of a software professional is full of insecurities. When you start out with your career, it is all about getting into the most reputed MNC. If a college-mate with lesser academic credentials that you got into a better company, with a higher pay, you'll have sleepless nights. Insecurities. A couple of years later, when you realize that academic credentials have very little to do with who ends up in which company and earns what salary, the angst at being underpaid subsides. The comfort of being part of "the" most famous IT company provides consolation for all the under-achievement. The next goal is to go to the US, and live there for a few years. When you finally manage to do that, it gives you a new high in your career. You are sitting in the US, and sending mails to all your batch-mates, who had gone past you in terms of salaries and achievements. " Sup guys, how is our India these days? I am missing it badly, although USA is a pretty neat place to live in ...

It’s been a while since I last did any writing on this blog. The past few weeks have been super-hectic. The elective terms have been extremely busy, thanks to the many groups that I am part of for each of my subjects. Coordinating group dynamics when you are involved in multiple groups is a real test of one’s people and time management skills. Add to that, the added pressure due to the placement processes being initiated this term. Countless resume reviews and case-based interview sessions have further complicated the time-management problem. Speaking of placements, my initial attempts have been rather disastrous. The un-real application to DB was, in hindsight, totally avoidable, considering I have 6.5 years experience in IT, and absolutely none in finance. Heck, I am not even doing a fin major . But the guy from DB was so convincing in his pre-placement talk that even a staunch non-finance guy like me was blinded into applying. And making a mockery of myself. Although that didn’t hu...

My humble attempt at serious writing, within 400 words. Note: If some parts seem abrupt, blame it on the 400 word limit. A COMMENTARY ON “INDIA: DEVELOPMENT AND PARTICIPATION” When India opened its economy to the world in 1991, it heralded a new era of liberalization, a break-away from the “ License Raj ” regime that had constrained the growth of the Indian Economy. The liberalization programme opened the doors to International Trade, and resulted in a renewed interest among the International Community in the possibilities of the Indian Economy, with Forbes magazine declaring in 1994 that “ India may be the best emerging market of all ”. However, despite creditable growth in its development performance in 1990s, India’s economy never attained the anticipated “ spectacular ” growth. Although several MNCs entered India in the 1990s, contributing to the boom in economy, the growth did not percolate to all sectors and regions of the country. Although India’s economy has posted an excellent...

It’s been a rather quiet term break, thanks to my not visiting Bangalore during these holidays. With Mom and Dad away, there wasn’t much use in going to Bangalore, although I definitely miss not being with my precious little angel. So it’s been mostly a lot of sleeping, and a bit of work regarding my Entrepreneurial Venture (God bless the noble attempt!). While I am not doing either of the two, I keep myself entertained watching utterly useless stuff on the telly. Of late, I have become addicted to repeat re-runs of Karan Johar movies. I hate admitting this in a not-so-personal forum, but I have always liked K-Jo movies, right from the KKHH days. Despite everyone else around me criticizing everything about them, I am an unabashed K-Jo and SRK fan. For all my pragmatic pretensions, I do have a penchant for the “ larger than life ”. Although I liked KKHH the best, I am equally fond of K3G and KHNH. However, sitting through Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna was not half as entertaining as any of hi...

The Karaoke Party at ISB last weekend was simply awesome! The plethora of talent on display was quite surprising. The GSB Prez performing “ She’s always a woman ” was probably the best one for me, although Arun’s rendition of “ Wonderwall ” was equally powerful. Lots of sections turned up in huge numbers for their group songs, and sang their hearts (and voices) out. Although melody wasn’t exactly their forte, the enthusiasm and the spirit with which they performed were infectious. Despite the maddening rains, people managed to land up at the small enclosure where the whole event was moved to, along with spouses and kids, to enliven the party. Even the usually shy people were encouraged to go and try and their luck with the mic. There was one kid who bravely attempted Bon Jovi’s “ It’s my life ”, while someone even tried “ Sweet Child of Mine ”. Speaking of bold attempts, GR and I also threw caution to the wind by performing “ Cloud #9 ”. Although we later found out that our voices wer...

Watching Roger Federer thrash Andy Roddick one more time in the US Open final seemed to be the last nail in the coffin. Despite my living in denial for the past 2 years, the fact simply is that Federer is the best player to have ever played the game. My loyalties with the erstwhile emperor Pete Sampras had blinded me to the obvious greatness of the man known as “Fedex”. But watching him decimate his opponents with such ease, and with such consistency, has finally forced me to accept what the tennis world has been harping about for the past 2 years. Fedex is the most complete player of all times. As a kid growing up in pre-liberalization India, my first tryst with Tennis was when I watched Boris Becker defeat Kevin Curran to win Wimbledon 1985. Since then, I have been hooked to the game. Becker’s clumsy yet charismatic tennis had won me, and most of the world, over. The booming serves, the diving volleys, and that characteristic jump across the net to signal his victory – all signature ...

NOTE: In adherence with the Honor Code rules at ISB, the author acknowledges that this post was originally published a year ago on his now defunct blog. The post is being republished as an open acknowledgement of his " Writer's Block ". The protagonist in this story is an old friend, who I shall refer to as R. Mister R had shown signs of his greatness at a very early age, and has now gone on to vindicate us with his lofty achievements. This incident that I will recount here, is one such proof of the great man that R would grow up to be. It happened one evening, about 8 years ago. We were all in our college, most of us being students of Engineering. Being budding engineers with a penchant for Science and all things related to it, yours truly and his good friend D were engrossed in a highly scientific conversation about scientific marvels, and unexplained phenomenon. I was narrating interesting anecdotes about another friend of mine who had claimed in school to have spotte...

The ELP that I so passionately wrote about in my previous post slipped right out of our hands. We thought we did well, but forgot that the rules of the competition requires us to not only do well, but do better than the competition. When there is only one prize up for grabs, being good is not enough. And the team that pipped us to the post were, I am sure, more deserving than us. I can't say I am not disappointed. Because I am. But I am not heart-broken. Also, this is a precursor to the various failures that we'll all have to face in our future careers, at some point or the other. It's also a time to evaluate ourselves, and see if we really were as good as we thought. Did some of us go overboard with the " I love social service " tune? Did we tug at their emotional chords when we should have really targeted their rational ones? Should we have concluded with our strengths than go off on a tangent about our value-added service? Did we handle it with the same serious...

As the months have passed, the terms at ISB have started to seem shorter and shorter. Conversely, I have begun to find myself lagging more and more behind schedules due to my acute mismanagement of time, both in and out of class. The added distractions of PaEV and ELP will only make my miseries worse. However, it is this very pressure that is making this joyride so much more fun. The PaEV, if it goes well, sounds like an awfully exciting idea. Especially after listening to Manish Sabharwal (the TeamLease guy) and Sanjeev Bhikchandani (the Naukri founder). The excitement of imagining myself among such esteemed people makes the misery more than worthwhile. And to complicate my schedules even more, I have also applied for an NGO Project for ELP (Experiential Learning Program). We had our interview today with the Naandi Foundation for their ambitious Community Water Service System. If things actually went as well as we all think it did, then we should have a mammoth project in our hand. On...

Corporate Finance has been giving me a tough time. However, the blame lies squarely on me, and me alone. Professor BC has been absolutely fantastic, and is probably the only reason I may scrape through the subject this term. His joyous spirit defies his age, and his sense of humor leaves most of the class in guffaws. To recount some of his gems in class, today while emphasizing on the importance of a particular formula, he went on to declare “ I want you to remember this formula even if I call you in the midnight. Even if you’ve just snorted a whole line of coke ”. And then, there are some usual funny-lines. He starts the class asking us “ Did you sleep well last night? ”, and after the obvious roars of “ NO ” from us, he dismisses us with a “ Great, so that means everything’s normal ”. More than what he says, it’s the way he says it that makes him such a funny man. With a completely innocent look on his face, he says the funniest of things. And he spares no one, not even the lady wh...

As I prepare for one final assault at Term 2 exams, I felt compelled to take a quick sneak-peek into the blogdom, and while at it, I couldn't resist pouring my woes for anyone who cares. Today was a tough day. All the noble knights returned from battle, disappointed and lost. The enemy had simply proven too strong. The morning session (DMOP) was reported to be unusually tough. Although the afternoon session (CSTR) was comparitively pedestrian, most people simply didn't have anything left in their tanks after the early assault. As for me, I went in with very modest expectations, and came back satisfied. With both the papers. That's not to claim I did well. It's just that I didnt allow myself to be disappointed. That's just a loser's way of saying I am happy with whatever little I get. Tomorrow is another battle of gigantic proportions. MKDM promises to be an eye-opener, thanks to so many unknown concepts that I will be questioned on in the exam. GLEC is a no-hope...

Today was the last day of term 2. Come Tuesday, I should be done with the exams as well. Without considering the possibility of a total disaster at the exams, I should be 1/4th of an MBA next Tuesday. That's an exciting thought. Curiously though, I am still just as clueless. It's prayer time again. Dear God, remember what Peter Parker said, " With great power comes great responsibility ". Powerful as you are, it's now time for you to discharge your responsibility. Please get me through these exams. Even if it takes a miracle. Amen!

Indians have truly come of age. In a good and bad way. Issues that were, till yesterday, considered taboo are now being openly flaunted. And speculated. This sudden Bohemian attitude has led to mixed reactions among the people here. While some have come to accept and appreciate the frank confessions, others have found it scandalous and completely inappropriate. Nevertheless, rumor mills have been having a field day, with everyone having an opinion on everyone else. It all started with this guy going open with his alternative orientation. For several conservative people, the revelation suddenly seemed too scandalous. And it triggered a chain reaction, and soon everyone was talking about it. And since gossip mongers usually have the completely uncalled-for tendency to extrapolate, they have been busy speculating about everyone else’s orientation as well. Stereotypes have sprung up overnight, and people have been slotted into these stereotypes. Accordingly, Mr. X is gay and Mr. Y is not....

Time’s been flying. First Term is over, and the second one is already giving us all sleepless nights, and even more importantly, beer-less weekends. The frenetic pace and the nervous energy with which people have adapted to the new, improved, extra-stress term is truly remarkable. That includes me too. Not only did I manage to meet up a few thousand people in my 2 short days at Bangalore, but also drove all the way from Bangalore to Hyderabad, and then spent a couple of hours in the night reading the material for the first class. If there ever were any doubts about my new found geek-hood , I have laid them all to rest. The first week in the new term has been rather disappointing. After sitting through some truly inspiring lectures from the likes of Stine, Finn, Waterman, Vohra etc last term, the new term is , plainly put, disappointing. Competitive Strategy , which is a key course in all MBA programs, is turning out to be a disaster. While it is understandable that Prof. GV is new to ...

Redemption, at last! Finally, the term exams are done and dusted. A mixed bag of sorts, but nevertheless, something that all of us were waiting to end. For all the sleepless nights, it’s redemption time tonight. There’s a party, of course. And for all those unfortunate souls who have to stay back in Hyderabad, it’s an open invitation to drown all your frustrations. Rejoice, I will. But a little bit of pondering, in retrospect, over the exams. Financial Accounting , despite the huge volumes, was a good paper, and I think (hope?) I didn’t bungle too much. But what followed was a disaster. The economics exam was such a mystery that the moment I saw the paper, all I could do was smile. I am blessed with the ability to see humor in tragedy. And this was tragedy at its best. After 2 hours of incessant guessing, I finally walked out without knowing if I had got even one question right. A mystery it was. And remains. Today, luckily, was a much better performance. Business Statistics was smoo...

Please tell me zero is not a bad score in today's economics paper! P.S: This is an appeal for empathy, not sympathy.

Exactly one week from today, we should be done with our first term at the ISB. For most of us, that means going back home for a 5 day break, and a well deserved one at that. A few unlucky ones, like yours truly, will however have to stay back another couple of days to attend the Leadership Development Program. Although the end term exams are just around the corner, I have hardly had the time to study anything at all, thanks to the overload of assignments. Just trying to get these assignments done have been taking up all my time, and then some. The omens have also been forecasting a disaster at the exams. How else would one explain the fact that my economics score, which was well above the average, had 4 marks docked off it for no good reason, relegating me to the average scores? To compound my miseries, I made some uncharacteristic blunders in the Accounting and economics assignments, effectively ending all hopes of ending the term on a decent score. The mid term stats score has been m...

The mid-terms are over! Our very first examination experience at ISB is finally done and dusted. And what a party we had, to celebrate our success ( really? ). The exams themselves did not offer any cause for celebration for most of us, although their culmination certainly did. The statistics exam, which most of us were very skeptical about, turned out to be rather manageable. Economics, on the other hand, was an altogether different experience. Most people had extreme reactions to offer as they walked out of the examination hall. The reactions ranged from “ What the f*** was that about! ” to “ Never since the Digital Signal Processing exam in Engineering have I been screwed this badly in an exam ”. However, as every rule has to have an exception, there were a select few who came out with a wide smile, with the knowledge of having cracked the paper. One such enlightened soul, a sure-fire future Dean’s Lister , happens to live next door. The very fact that he actually knew what “ Lerner...

It’s that week of the year at ISB when everyone gets hyper-active and over-friendly. All of a sudden, you have strangers bumping into you and exchanging pleasantries, before leaving you with a customary “ By the way, I am standing for the GSB president. Please vote for the best guy ”. Like I didn’t know. The part about voting for the best guy, I mean. We have had a candidate proclaiming in his election manifesto that he would ensure 24/7 restaurants in each Student Village if he became the Prez. Pity that’s really not my main criteria for voting a GSB Prez in. He also went on to claim that he would ensure ELPs for every student in the batch. While that is a delicious prospect, it doesn’t seem like a very plausible one, considering that ELPs are not just for the school to decide. As a GSB Prez, one can do a lot. But impressing upon the corporate world to offer ELPs to every student might seem a little too far-fetched for even the best Prez. My advice :” Get real. Don't promise what...

Yesterday I had a near-death experience, and am very grateful to the almighty to be still alive. A seemingly mundane task of boiling milk turned into a deadly experience yesterday afternoon. After turning the gas stove on, I tried to twist the controlling dial towards the minimum flame position. Just as I did that, the controlling dial came apart, along with its spring and the holding screws. The very next moment, a sudden burst of flames rushed out of the hole exposed by the undone controlling dial, and hit me right in the face. Instinctively, I rushed away from the kitchen to open the main door, fearing that the fire might spread rapidly. After a few seconds of waiting at the door, I rushed back to the kitchen since the fire had not yet, as of that moment, spread outside of the kitchen. I could see the flames blazing away, starting to consume the wooden cabinets. Luckily, the gas cylinder was still some distance from the fire, allowing me to quickly shut-down the gas- supply from the...