Wedding Blues

Tuesday, Nov 9th 2004: It is just 5 days to the Wedding. My wedding.

And yesterday I was a kid. I still have those bermudas that i adored in school. My Hero Ranger is still lying in Sid's place cos he wanted to shed some kilos by cycling. And ofcourse, my marble collection from 5th std was all intact and sparkling when I gave it away to the maid's kids last month.Sid still calls me CK, just like he used to in high school. Alright, so he doesnt sound like Donald Duck anymore. My mom still mixes my rice for me , just like when I was a kid. And yes, I am getting married this weekend. No, it is not illegal for a 27 year old to marry. Certainly Not in India. But I was a kid just yesterday.

But today I am an adult. So is Sid. Likewise with Shankar. And that's why Sid doesnt come to me with stories about his walk-up-the-hill-holding-hands-with-Chithra. That's why Shankar doesnt show me around Reshu's house when we cycle upto Gandhi bazaar. And that's why CP doesnt show me his new costume on his birthday. But I was a kid just yesterday.
Now, I am on the threshold of marriage. Forget being a kid, I wont even remain a bachelor. I will come home everyday to a wife, who I do not know well enough to be myself with, just yet. So i put on my best behaviour, day in and day out. Because I am not a kid anymore. I am a man. A soon-to-be-married man. Am i scared even a wee bit? Not a chance.

I am just plain paranoid.